Sometimes I wonder whether I have any real intelligence or if I just have enough random bits of surface knowledge to bullshit my way through most things.
This week on You Didn’t Know You Were a Satanist
Thats one reason I am a satanist
I hate when I misplace my glasses because then I’m forced to walk around looking like I’m suspicious of everything in the room
whattabout you, cabinet? huh, you sketchy piece of shit? did you take ‘em?
"Stocks are going down, Mark. I’m not ready for this company to go under"
I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes
Babies have no concept of object permanence
That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read.
good thing harry potter didnt choose slytherin
today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket
today on satan makes a blog post
i literally just whispered ’my god’