Some genius replaced the music in the Party Rock video with the cantina song from Star Wars and it matches perfectly
Instead of waiting in her tower, Rapunzel slices off her long, golden hair with a carving knife, and then uses it to climb down to freedom.
Just as she’s about to take the poison apple, Snow White sees the familiar wicked glow in the old lady’s eyes, and slashes the evil queen’s throat with a pair of sewing scissors.
Cinderella refuses everything but the glass slippers from her fairy godmother, crushes her stepmother’s windpipe under her heel, and the Prince falls madly in love with the mysterious girl who dons rags and blood-stained slippers.
Persephone goes adventuring with weapons hidden under her dress.
Persephone climbs into the gaping chasm.
Or, Persephone uses her hands to carve a hole down to hell.
In none of these versions is Persephone’s body violated unless she asks Hades to hold her down with his horse-whips.
Not once does she hold out on eating the pomegranate, instead biting into it eagerly and relishing the juice running down her chin, staining it red.
In some of the stories, Hades never appears and Persephone rules the underworld with a crown of her own making.
In all of them, it is widely known that the name Persephone means Bringer of Destruction.
Red Riding Hood marches from her grandmother’s house with a bloody wolf pelt.
Medusa rights the wrongs that have been done to her.
Eurydice breaks every muscle in her arms climbing out of the land of the dead.
Girls are allowed to think dark thoughts, and be dark things.
Instead of the dragon, it’s the princess with claws and fiery breath
who smashes her way from the confines of her castle
and swallows men whole.
'Reinventing Rescuing,' theappleppielifestyle. (via theappleppielifestyle)
YES. FUCKING YES.
when the person u hate does something that makes everyone else hate them:
YEAH BUT CALIGULA WAS FUCKIN INSANE
And not in a good way. He was literally insane, and he was an absolute tyrant. He’s my favourite Roman emperor, just because he’s so interesting
- His father was a military hero, and he spent the first few years of his life on an army camp, where he paraded around wearing this mini-military uniform his mother made (which is where he got his name- “Caligula” meaning “little boot”). The soldiers basically worshipped him.
- As a teenager, he was called before Tiberius (who was a complete tyrant in his own right, and supposedly killed members of Caligula’s family) on the island of Capri, where he was forcibly adopted and as a result of how well he was treated he supposedly developed Stockholm Syndrome (though this is subject to debate). He held an undying hatred for Tiberius but was forced to show respect, so took out his anger on others and enjoyed watching executions and torture, and frequently indulged in orgies
- TIBERIUS THOUGHT HE WAS MAD. TIBERIUS.
- He gains absolute power of the Roman Empire at the 24- spent the last 5 years watching Tiberius murder, rape, and torture innocents for his own pleasure. So it’s fair to say he’s pretty messed up. He starts off by obliterating unpopular tax and literally giving away money- thus winning the adoration of the citizens. Then, seemingly overnight, he becomes a vicious, bloodthirsty psychopath.
- Early in his reign, he fell ill and spent a considerably period of time on the verge of death. Following most of his recovery, he still suffered major headaches and sometimes wandered round his palace in the dead of night, and started cross-dressing
- During his illness, one man offered his life in exchange for Caligula’s recovery. When he recovered, Caligula sought out this man and had him sacrificed.
- He called banquets, raped the female guests, then brought them back to the table to discuss the rape with the other guests
- HE DECLARED WAR ON THE GODS. Hence why he had the army fight Poseidon.
- He would make parents watch the executions of their children
- He held dinner parties for highly-regarded Roman citizens, during which he would order the executions of criminals between courses and- while his guests were dining- he would rape their wives in the room next door
- He appointed a horse as a consul. I’ll say that again. HE NAMED A HORSE A CONSUL. He had said horse attended to by 18 servants and fed it oats mixed with gold flakes
- He names himself a living God
- He his reign lasted four years, before he was stabbed to death. He did all that in four years.
I’M SORRY I JUST REALLY LOVE ROMAN HISTORY OK
Also when he would throw house parties he would hide wild animal like lions in random rooms and made people tour his house by themselves and they would be eaten if they opened the wrong door
(just so you know I did a huge project about him in history)
Not Iambic….Do Not Accept…
These tags I’ll pop, and boast in rhyming verse
that what I wear puts swagger in my gait;
though twenty shillings have I in my purse,
my self-esteem and manhood both inflate
when lofty furs I purchase for a cent.
Thy grandpa’s clothes are worthy salvage, though
they smell a trifle musty. Still, I spent
much less to dress myself from head to toe.
To save or not to save? The question’s moot.
I’ll never give my coin to high-street crooks.
These dusty shelves will yield their hidden loot
to those, like me, more frugal in their looks.
Like ancient coins washed up on distant shores,
I’ll find my treasures in these thrifty stores.
- Macklemore, “Thrift Shoppe”
*Crying with laughter*
ITS IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER. SWEET JESUS THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING.
THIS IS THE MOST BRILLIANT POSY I HAVE EVER SEEN.
Guys, that’s not only Iambic, that’s a fucking sonnet. *claps*
Grammatically correct for the period and a couple of references to Shakespeare’s actual works.
I’m sincerely impressed.
Disney gender swaps by Sakimi Chan
Life tip: bring a book with you everywhere you go
Life pro tip: bring two, in case you finish the first one.
Bigger life pro tip: Bring a kobo/kindle with you everywhere so you have an entire library with you at all times.
Ultimate life pro tip: live in a library and never ever leave.
Supreme life tip: Become a library
An action film.
With a female lead.
Played by Scarlett Johanssen
With no love interest.
And Morgan Freeman.
I had no idea how much I wanted this until this moment.
I am so fucking excited for this movie, I can’t even.
lets nominate her for an actress award omfg
that escalated quickly…
She needs to be the lead in that movie Tumblr wants to make of Samuel L. Jackson narrating a little girl’s inner thoughts.
Some Nigel Thornberry gifs I’ve collected over a while.
Every so often one of these comes across my dash and I just start laughing hysterically because this meme is simultaneously one of the most pointless yet entertaining things ever.
oh my god